Why is forgiveness so difficult?

The Change Artist is about moral dilemmas and a person who justified his actions (as many of us do) only to later regret those choices.

The father character chose to do some things as a young man to try to make amends and thought that those actions never made a difference his whole life, when actually they really did. The Change Artist is about the price we pay when we choose to act based on survival rather than on principles. It’s also about the price we pay when we label ourselves as a victim or a villain and never find forgiveness for ourselves or others. At its core it’s about the power of forgiveness.

Most people live their entire lives condemning themselves or others for past mistakes. This form of condemnation can be a self-made prison and will sap the joy out of life. Yet, why is forgiveness so difficult? So elusive? Because to forgive yourself is to truly take responsibility for what you’ve done and to learn from it, to grow from it. If you condemn yourself it’s a way of splitting yourself off, of distancing yourself from the human part that falls down and makes mistakes.

Similarly to condemn others is to distance yourself from the collective human shadow, to make yourself “better than”. This can create the illusion that you are somehow not responsible. This is a natural human tendency. To be responsible is to literally be “able to respond”. If we see people in the world choosing their response instead of letting their response choose them, then we see the beginning of growth, evolution and change for the human condition.

If it’s always someone else’s fault then there can be no learning or growth. Forgiveness takes the courage to look at yourself and at the world. It challenges you to choose your response, to choose to evolve and to choose to grow. The more people in the world taking back their ability to respond, the sooner we restore ourselves to wholeness.